"Failure to Control Your Dependents"

My Army husband (not him) got into hot water a number of times because of something I did or said, so I can't help wondering what's going to happen to the Naval personnel whose relatives are speaking up about poor conditions on the USS Abraham Lincoln.  Parents are different - but spouses and children - that's ostensibly under the control of the servicemember.  Here's an AI-nutshell:

"In the United States military, there is no direct criminal charge or specific Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) article titled "failure to control dependents." However, a service member can still face serious command or administrative actions if their family members break laws, violate base rules, or cause major disruptions."

One time in particular stands out (c.1983) when White Sands Missile Range, NM, hired tree trimmers to address the entire base; and they were about as good as the contractor who painted the Reflection Pool.  Men wielding chainsaws were all over the place, indiscriminately disfiguring the trees without any perceived expertise.

With Papillon-mix, Boots

Trees on the base were not plentiful so we all cherished any shade we could get out in the middle of the desert.  One Army-wife went out to ask them to please leave alone the tree newly planted in front of her quarters.  I don't know much about trees but it was a small stick with a clump on top about 7 or 8 feet tall?  They'd recently planted a bunch around the housing area.

So what does the young fellow do?  Takes his chainsaw and cuts the tree off halfway down, smiling at the lady.  That's not the only story I heard; and they weren't exactly difficult to prove.

I had two apricot trees next to one another in the backyard and I can't stand apricots.  Our first year there the trees were full of them, dropping all over the place, nasty mess.  Neighbors came by to take whatever they wanted, blech.

During the second year I became interested in canning, probably because for a year I'd heard over and over about the possibilities I was wasting.  I'd watched Mom try canning one time - the boiling water and glass jar-bit, no thanks.  Then I found a recipe for preserves you only needed to stick in the freezer after cooking, lasts 6 months; I could manage that.

But when it came time, there were no apricots.  There had been hardly any flowers but I hadn't put two-and-two together (as I say, not a horticulturist).  I was so bummed - had the jars and the know-how - then I learned that trees don't bear fruit every year.

OK, live and learn.  Third year comes around and the trees were loaded with flowers, both of 'em, just turning to fruit; when I came home from work to discover my beautiful trees had been raped.  This one in the front was hacked up somewhat but the back - all the flowering limbs were gone and my shock turned to anger - they couldn't have waited a couple of weeks - gone on to other houses then come back? (Photo: my '79 MG Midget - wasn't she a beaut?)

Anyone with a suggestion, comment (or complaint, I took it to mean) was free to call the Commanding General's Tip Line, so I did.  I gave my opinion of the workers; rebuked the Army for doing the opposite of what they asked of us: caring for the miilitary's housing; and invoking Lizzie Borden at some point.

And like the honest idiot I was (and too often still am) I identified myself and my Sponsor's info.  My memory's a bit hazy about exactly how-all that was transmitted; but I do remember hubby coming home, none too happy about being called on the carpet by his CO.  This stuff goes into their records, depending on the offense, and it wasn't the first time nor the last, unfortunately for them - I had two Ex's in the military, both deceased.

Anyway, fast-forward to today's news about the ship's terrible conditions.  I don't doubt the sailor's claims, but I also heard it was more of a problem in the beginning, when things were getting sorted out; even some of the complainers agree things got better.  Clogged toilets, bad food & water and no soap are in a separate category than what's going on inside their heads, at least to me.

I can somewhat appreciate the mental anxiety they're going through because thev've not had any shore leave and are experiencing a deep sense of isolation.  Here's my experience:

Twice, in the 1970s and 1980s, (we) were transferred to Germany for 3 year stints; 18 months for non-accompanied personnel.  Waiting for mail call was a highlight, and we used a pay phone in the mail room at really expensive rates per minute to call home - on Thanksgiving/Christmas/Special Occasions ONLY.

We had ONE television channel - Armed Forces Network (AFN) and so if you wanted to watch TV you had to sit through Hee Haw or The God Squad - a weekly 1/2 hour program with a (military) Priest and Rabbi (and maybe someone else?) offering differing points of view, really quite interesting - they should do that now.  We also suffered through terrible Public Service commercials like this photo and a voice warning, Nothing smaller than THIS. Huh????

Point being, things weren't exactly cushy then; so part of me can't help wondering if the distress so many are experiencing is the result of the conditions or the Generation?  Boy, I could get slammed for that, but Baby Boomers know what I'm talking about.

Mom on my Christmas call

We were all homesick, most of us, at different levels; and it was hard on our families back home, for all Moms want to see their babies.  My husband was often called to remain at the missile base for days on end and I wouldn't have a clue as to his well-being unless a message was passed along.  It wasn't combat but there was a constant sense that things could go wrong, and what's the first things fired off in wars?

So that's my backstory.  Still, it's not fair to compare the relatively-comfy conditions (we) experienced back then and what's happening now. However, in today's world of instant gratification, impatience with anything longer than 10 seconds and inability to communicate to an actual person, what am I to think?  What are Vietnam Veterans to think?

It's hard for servicemembers to ask for mental help, for whatever goes into your record can make the difference between being promoted and being RIF'd, or asked to leave.  But isn't that what friends are for?  Didn't anyone other than a wife (via text) on the other side of the world notice something was wrong?  Whose fault is that?  I've known more than one person who got out of the military by convincing doctors they're crazy - I think I'd try that before diving off the deck of an aircraft carrier.  Not everyone's cut out for the military, no shame in that.

My take, that's all.  Therefore, in this instance I don't 100% believe either 'side', not that I'm defending Hegseth.  But like so many things, I believe the truth lies somewhere in the middle.  I hope they all safely return home soon.

PS:  I came to love mixing apricot preserves with a bit of soy sauce and lemon as a basting sauce for pork.  I even grew to enjoy Hee Haw.