Buttercup 'BC" Jansen, 2009-2022

It is with immeasurable sorrow I report the passing this morning of my dear little Buttercup, affectionately known as BC.  We've been paired since I rescued her from a shelter in Klamath Falls in 2010, shortly after moving back to Oregon.  But as often happens, she rescued me, and I don't know how I could have gotten through the past decade without her.

BC was diagnosed with diabetes over a year ago.  It's kept us both on pins and needles, literally and figuratively; but after the initial shock of the bad news and fright over administering shots every day, we've managed.  She hasn't been up to par of late and was seen by our local Vet, plus we spent all day Friday at OSU's Vet Hospital, so it wasn't a total surprise.  Still, it doesn't render the reality less painful.

She was to avoid heights because she was still so doped up, poor thing.  She was afraid to be alone, so I slept on the couch and brought in her bed from the car. Early this morning she wimpered a bit near the door, but couldn't rise. I panicked - do I take her to yet another Emergency Vet, possibly hours away, or let life take it's course?

She eventually got up and went back to her bed. I wound up listening to some Christian Science lectures on YouTube, which helped us both, I think.  I DO know that it came to my mind that I needed to stop forcing my way.  As mortals there's an End Date for us all, my blunt words, certainly not the lecturer's.  BC lay her head down.  I lay down alongside and stroked her until the end. this is heartbreaking to write.  She lifted her head now and again to look at me, and her eyes held mine for a moment. 

"It's all right...Aunt Cathy's waiting for you, and Rollin' Grammy (my Mom, with her walker), and others.  You'll be fine until I come."

Thankfully, the lectures helped me enough so that when the time finally arrived I didn't rend my hair or gouge my eyes.  For many years now I've contemplated life without BC:  unimaginable, yet inevitable.  I do feel grateful to be experiencing this where I live now rather than isolated on some farm.

I contacted Pathways for Pets, local and open 24 hrs.  The kind woman was over within 15 minutes, and we carried BC out on her bed and placed her in the back of the oversize van. She'll be cremated and I'll have her remains in about a week.

I'm hoping by then I'll stop jumping at every sound I hear, alert for BC's needs.  She's at peace and without pain, I know that

 "She's the last companion I'll have," I told my manager this morning, "two- or four-legged.  I can't go through this again."

Alright, I choose not to.  I will continue traveling with BC in my heart (and perhaps a locket around my neck).  In the meantime, Boo-Boo is  pretty good as a good-cry surrogate.  Rest in Peace, BC, my sweet girl. Mama loves you.