Cross-Country WITHOUT Google Maps

THIS is what you use, if you're like me.  When I picked up the Chrysler Pacifica van at Newark Airport I asked for help with instructions (no manual provided), for it was such an intimidating cockpit and my car's a 2004.  I kept the fellow for about 15 minutes. Once I understood pushing a button starts the engine, the dashboard lit up and I saw what looked like a close-up map.

"Get rid of that, please!  Just the radio will be fine."

He laughed as he talked me through which icon to press to perform my request.  I'd only packed a carry-on for my expected 2-week traveling and it was already too heavy when I considered packing my trusty 2017 Walmart Atlas.  I figured I'd pick one up somewhere, no problem.

I made the same mistake when I left Florida on Ruff Life and figured I'd pick up charts along the way through the Caribbean; like stopping at a gas station in olden days.  I grew up in New Jersey so figured navigating the (sometimes confusing) roadways would be Duck Soup until I purchased one.

I was wrong, but I'm getting ahead of myself.  I flew from Eugene, OR to San Francisco, then a red-eye to Newark.  Halfway through the 1-1/2 hr flight to San Fran, the young gal sitting next to me, also traveling alone, stopped using her laptop, tapped me on the shoulder and said,

"Excuse me, I think I'm going to faint."

There were just our two seats in the row.  I turned and tried to look into her face, except my right side's my blind side and it's hard for me to turn my neck that far.  She looked Asian, and very tiny. "What?!"  (I've got tinnitus.)

"I think I'm going to faint," she repeated, and promptly slumped onto my shoulder.

Jesus Christ - right from the get-go?  Really?

I reached for the overhead button, trying not to drop her head onto the armrest between us.  The Attendant came right over and I told her what happened.

"Is she traveling with you?"  No.  She tried softly speaking to the young woman, then louder, but she wouldn't wake up.  She finally touched her and said, (phew) "She's still breathing."  THAT was a relief.  After a moment the gal opened her eyes.

The Attendant asked several questions, but she hadn't taken any meds or eaten anything odd.  Turns out it had something to do with the altitude and pressure; it happened to her once before.  The Attendant suggested that on her next flight she alert the crew to have oxygen available; she had encountered that before (and apparently it's a 'thing,' I just Googled).  After some water and as the plane descended she perked up, thanked me and sheepishly apologized.  She was taking another flight to L.A. for a friend's wedding.

"I hope they appreciate what you're going through to attend!"

And off she went.  The flight to Newark was fine - I was alone in the center row but I just can't stretch across 4 or 5 seats like I'm at home.  The flight arrived around 7:30 a.m., and while I huffed and puffed for what seemed like miles to the rental cars, I vowed to buy a small, rolling carry-on before my next trip.

So after the Avis mechanic finished explaining the cockpit and opening and closing the back hatch (again, a button), I asked whether the seats could fold down, like I'd seen online.  Of course, and he put everything down so it was completely flat - perfect to load my storage boxes, and off I headed down Route 9 towards familiar Monmouth County.

I arrived Thursday morning and planned to hit the road on Monday, but by Sunday I told Hillary our goal was to locate a Road Atlas.  She suggested AAA, but it was Sunday.  Someone suggested a bookstore, easy enough to find a Barnes & Noble open on Palm Sunday; but they only had a trucker's version for $34.99, which I wasn't paying.  There had to be other choices.

If I had a nickel every time someone suggested, "Google Maps..."  How can you plan a cross-country trip using a phone; are you kidding?  How do you flip between states tracking a specific road from state to state or have a comprehensive view?

We headed towards Red Bank on the Navesink River, which has always had a nice downtown area to window shop.  Along the way I noticed a strip mall on the opposite side of the highway and something whispered inside my head,

"Staples."

Huh?  Nah, too much trouble to take the jughandle for another waste of time.

"Staples."

OK, hell, fine. Parked the van but first went into Tractor Supply, figuring that might really be the place with an atlas; plus I like the store and Hillary'd never been.

Nope.  Walked into Staples and skeptically asked the cashier if they carried any.

"Right over there by the window- there's a spinner," and it was FULL of choices.  I decided on the spiral-bound Easy to Read Rand McNally, and was very pleased as the trip progressed.  Not quite as detailed as my old Walmart, but really, all I needed to do was keep heading West on 30.

But damn, I forgot to pack my compass!

This wasn't really a pleasure trip and, contrary to my usual 4-5 hrs per day, I drove 8-10 hrs per day and arrived in Oregon lickity-split, 7 days later, on Easter Sunday.  Since then I've been unpacking and rearranging and chilling. Next up:  On Pizza and Politics.