Paper Ties

US Cellular is sending warnings:  I’m at 80% of my 2 MB, $25 monthly plan with a week left to go, so I’ll be particular about which emails to open, stories to follow and blogging, after this quickie, not at all.

How much real time is 80%? 38 hours, 3 minutes, 9 seconds. I’ve made 69 dial-up connections with an average of 33 minutes per; which is about 1-1/2 hours a day if my math is correct. That seems a lot; what was I doing? Waiting, mostly. I sent 299 MB of data but received 1,345 MG, mostly advertisements. Would that be enough for you? Would that be enough for your school-age children?

This is what happened to cable TV, no? I’m advocating Free Internet Access (FIA) for all. My argument is that I’m forced to pay for ads I don’t want and can’t afford; but in actuality, since I’m on the public coffers, that means that YOU're helping to pay for my Internet time, and I’m not the only one you’re paying for. Not literally, but does that seem fair to you?

Didn’t they promise it would be free for all? Why don’t they just go ahead and charge a penny each time you click on their commercial? That sounds reasonable, and it’ll add up for them. Sure, I can choose not to connect with the rest of the world and I pretty much haven’t, but again, what about the children, especially those who are discovering their unique sexuality online?

Much as I try changing my Cookies the ads just keep on coming, and most of them don’t seem to offer CLOSEure at all. I can’t tell you how many times, especially during this time of the month, I’ve quit searching for an advertised article or recipe simply because I can’t stop the moving boxes fast enough. Yahoo Mail’s are particularly annoying; returning even after you close the doorway, just like your Mother-in-Law. Unless you pay, what, $19.95 for Premium?

Bruce Jenner's Secret Past

I don’t want to see Caitlyn Jenner in a bathing suit.  I don’t want to look at myself in a bathing suit, so I sure as hell don’t want to see a former man looking better than me at the Shore.  You know I’ve nothing against transgenders; I suspect I’m one myself.  I’ve no desire for a sex change operation nor to French Kiss a woman, but I always considered bow ties and suspenders the ultimate fashion accessories.

Chris wore both each day to work, so I always found an excuse to go visit him in his cubicle to check out his latest ensemble.  A brilliant draftsman, in 1987 it was only whispered he might be gay.  Chris kept his private life just that and it wasn’t anybody’s business anyway.  I liked Chris for his peculiarities at work, since I seem instinctively drawn to people who don’t fit any particular mold (like actors John Maklovich, Gary Busey and Christopher Walken.  I see you smiling; you like ‘em, too.)

Chris appeared a gentle soul, shuffling quietly along in his arch-supported shoes, but like everyone else he had his dark side; exacerbated no doubt by his Army job of bagging the bodies in Vietnam.   I think I’d wear bow ties and suspenders after that, too; probably snapped them to keep his sanity at times.

Every once and awhile in Production we’d hear a terrible ruckus; no shouting (which was commonplace in that Manhattan firm), just noise. As I walked towards Chris’s cubicle I was joined by fellow onlookers until our path was blocked. Chris was methodically tossing his office contents into the hallway: chairs, blueprints, file cabinets, trash can, lamps; but he got his drafting table stuck in the doorway, so he slipped out, left work and didn’t come back for a week. After that first time I’d simply pause a moment from whatever I was doing.

"He does that now and then,” my boss explained.  He’d been in ‘Nam, too, and was odd in other ways, like when he dragged that wooden airplane propeller up to his office on the 12th floor, which no one questioned.  Unlike Chris, Marc was vocal and OY!  The great Yiddish expressions I learned over the years.  His best piece of advice to me was, “Stay low in the foxhole,” when I was first transferred to the Netherlands office.

It’s not only me who doesn’t think that still-evolving transgenders aren’t getting the best role model available with Caitlyn, no matter how nicely Kim and her gang play Dress-up Daddy.  Remember, I only can see what my 2 MegaBites allow me to view; which wouldn't include the Kardashian Klan even with more airtime.

But please now consider aforementioned kids who are transgendering to an hour and a half of Internet access per day; less if they’ve siblings and only one computer. They can’t possibly learn about all sides to an issue; just the sideshows.

Not for all her fame and fortune, yet that’s what more and more are subscribing to.  But I’ll bet there’s a little part of  Caitlyn which wishes things were working out differently.  Most of us can relate to that, even if it’s baking a chocolate cake.  When I write differently I simply mean that in her case she might have had an easier time in the long run if she wasn’t set up so quickly as a role model in such still-murky waters; and in a society which feels compelled to ridicule and tear down its idols.

A blog post of mine, written a couple of years ago when nasty headlines were beginning to appear, has attracted more viewers, thanks to whichever words they’re Googling.  You may have missed it so here's a link to Bruce Jenner’s Secret Past.  It's not what you think.