"What a wonder life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner." Colette

Apr 24, 2018

Strong Women in My Life

I love 'em, but most of the strong women I'm referring to (and associating with) are dead; and since I don't Facebook I don't participate in any living group's dynamics, including familial.

"What happened to everybody? Where are they?" Same thing happens after a death or divorce, so many of you comprehend my sentiment. They're still out there, still talking...

"Did you hear about Andrea...Did you read what she wrote...Well, she's never been this-or-that...Well, I tried to tell her this-and-that...She's made her bed, let her lie in it."

Gal-pal Nancy called after catching up on her reading, and asked how she could help. Her initial query, "How much is a new engine?" ("YOWCH is right!") was followed up with an offer for AAA (not necessary just yet, thanks). She knows I'm not going to take advantage of her, and understands that what I want more than anything is the safety-net-feeling that IF anything should go wrong I can call on her for help without any conditions, admonishments or strings.

I've received offers to (temporarily) homestead with people not bound by blood. The one person (in photo above) who repeatedly said, "Remember...you can ALWAYS park in our driveway," just died, and Uncle J. has moved in with a cousin. I get it, they have their own lives; I'm just mentioning in case anyone out there is asking,

"Where's her family?"

They're probably afraid I'll try moving in, along with BC, and never leave.  It happens. So if a problem isn't acknowledged it doesn't exist, right?

Wanna know what Amy says?

No, you don't, sorry. While Amy grumbles She'll Remember This I remind her it's just (our) bruised egos talking, and some adults simply don't know what to say or do in awkward situations. My last partner had his Mother break up for him. 

Does it really matter in the grand scheme of things? Rather than rolling up your window or turning away from the unfortunate, try to look their way and say SOMETHING.

"Hey, sorry, having a tough time myself," you can lie,"but I hope your day goes well...smoothly...whatever." I guarantee that 90% of the people will perk up just for being acknowledged.

The MISSING poster above was for a woman who was eventually found dead in her car. By all accounts she was a very private person, and I believe only one other person knew her true circumstances. A nephew reported her missing. Weini Mesfin was my age, lived in her Honda Civic for 7 years and during the end of her life was a custodian for Disneyland. Here's a lovely photo from her Memorial card. LOOK AT HER! Don't just shake your head; this could be my fate; and countless others.
To her family...no disrespect intended. I'll remove the photos if requested.

I suppose people hope I'll work this out myself, which I will; without their help; which I am.  I'm not talking about financially since it's times like these which make me resourceful; but the hardest thing about living alone is the lack of encouragement.

"Hold your head high," Mary Yeisley's words ring through loud and clear as I push the broom, boosting my confidence. I always felt she had one heartache too many to work through, but I could be all wrong. Please read her story.

Mom used to say, "If we all put our troubles in one big pot, we'd reach in and grab our own back out." I agree, yet find myself battling resentment of the 'Haves,' which is probably common, too. I'm not usually jealous, thanks to Mary, but when I listen to the inane bullshit captivating people's already-limited attention spans, I'm angry over the country's real problems which need real solutions. Like kids, cops and waffle-lovers being gunned down on a regular basis.

I may be down but I'm not out, and I've reinvented myself before. Last time I wound up painting gourds on my trawler in the Caribbean, but this time I'll  be more selective about certain people things. 

Maybe I should stop listening to Bob Dylan.

Oh, to any George Thompson Pritchard fans:  I will be selling my inherited painting (right), which has been in Mom's family since he painted it, and the frame is included. There's a story behind the painting available to read here.

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Original gourd art designs Copyright 2020 Andrea Jansen Designs. Please write for permission.



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