God Save Me from Chick Flicks

Waking very early, I switched on the Tube and fell on The Book Club.  I'll bet most women over 60 have heard of the movie, if not seen it; just as younger gals have read and/or seen 50 Shades of Grey,  the Club's featured book of the month.

Ugh.  I haven't been able to watch Diane Keaton for years...because she seems to play the same, 'quirky Annie Hall'   character over and over, you can tell by her movie posters. I feel the same about Jennifer Anniston and Reese Witherspoon.  Sure, they're cute, but I must not know the proper definition of Acting.

Chick-Flicks, I hate 'em as a general rule, although there have been exceptions (Love, Actually).  Peek at my video collection and you'll more likely find mobster depictions, serial killings and bizarre stories with the likes of John Malkovich and Christopher Walken.

Throughout my adult life, I've been offered countless 'chick-flicks' to borrow, and accept out of politeness; meaning I'm obligated to watch, in case I'm quizzed.  There have been times I actually enjoy one of them and grudgingly admit the same, but I rarely watch them more than once, unusual for me.  As with babies, I run from movies like Under a Tuscan Sky or The Notebook.  I've never seen Dirty Dancing, but I did enjoy Bridget Jones's Diary, the first one.  I barely made it through the Second so never bothered with the Third.

Not all women are cut out to be mothers (myself included), so too not all of us like Chick-Flicks, I don't know why it's assumed. What I did like about The Book Club was watching Andy Garcia and Don Johnson, who don't look too stretched in the face.  Gee, are there really men out there like that - who look good no matter what they're wearing?  Hard to know when you're not prowling.

So I'm watching Jane Fonda, Candace Bergen, Diane Keaton and Mary Steenburgen cavorting about, chased by the aforementioned hunks plus Richard Dreyfuss and Craig T. Nelson, (hysterical as a husband slipped a Viagra by wife Mary S. during a romantic dinner out.  Worth watching for that alone.)

It's a noble effort:  encouraging old ladies like me (I'll slap my face) to do all sorts of thing by reminding us that life is far from over.  Except the only actress I could relate to (physique-wise) was matronly Candace Bergen (I'll slap it again.)  The others, with unrealistically maintained figures, are close to joining the group of women (and men) forever pursuing the Fountain of Youth until they're no longer recognizable.  And I thought I had a facial recognition problem.  

Give me Annette Benning, Helen Mirren and Emma Thompson, with all their life-experience wrinkles,  over the others any day.  I'm happy to have these ladies as role-models, playing interesting OLDER characters with panache.  I'm assuming they haven't been 'lifted' but if that's false, at least they appear real-er.

I'm tired of being encouraged to jog, eat properly, have fat globules sucked out like old engine oil and pay a small fortune for advanced-age products.  Body-shaming doesn't only apply to the young.  And please don't say it's good for me, for I know too many people who've died young despite healthy habits.  Hell, with mass shootings slimming our chances of surviving another day, why worry unnecessarily?

You see our dilemma:  encouraged to become our Authentic Selves, yet bombarded with recommendations to avoid any appearance of growing old naturally, gracefully.  A recent ad featuring a well-known actress with her daughter advocating facial cream "at any age," shows the trend. No wonder kids are confused by this oxymoron. 

Personally, I'd rather watch shows picturing competant, single Senior women not shamed for preferring life with a pet over another woman's frog.  Who are comfortable with their skin folds, age spots and sleep patterns.  I've spoken to more than one 'contemporary' about the concept of living in some sort of tiny-house compound, with other women desiring to live-alone-with-others.  A modern-day Golden Girls,  I'm up for it.

And by the way, I can definitevely report that there IS such a thing as Chick-Flick-Shaming, it's happened more than once.