Porcines in Public

Porcine (long i): of or relating to swine; resembling swine; hoggish; piggish.

Yesterday, Oregon's Gov. Brown declared masks were required in public spaces in a number of counties up around Portland.  The state as a whole is experiencing a spike so I hope that decision moves south, sooooon.

I was in my favorite shop yesterday (I'll let you guess), where masks are required and arrows are on the floor. So far everyone's been good; but yesterday I was staring at something on a shelf when two women with children, all unmasked, walked up the narrow aisle from the opposite direction and stopped in a line directly in front of me.  They spoke loudly although inches apart, and it was obvious they didn't care about assaulting me with their Streptococcus any more than blocking my view.

You can imagine the fight going on inside my head between Amy and me.  I was flabbergasted at their complete lack of manners, forget the virus for a moment. One of the women did look a bit sheepish as she waited in front of my bad right eye, yet I'm certain she read Amy's message in my good left.

In case your parents never taught you, when you pass in front of a person you're supposed to say, "Excuse me" (plus you don't stop, God, that applies to escalators, too); and if someone says Excuse me to you it's polite to acknowledge their courtesy with something like, "Sure", "Of course", even an "Uh-huh"; who doesn't know that?

Unfortunately for Amy I wasn't in a mood, much, to cause a stink. I didn't even call them INBREDS.  What I did do was ask the next 'associate' whether masks were no longer required.

"They are, unless there's a medical reason."  All four of them?  Then what the hell are they doing out of their pen?

"At least they could follow the arrows," is all I said.

"I told them that already...are they not?"

Heavy sighs do nothing.  As I waited for her to check a price I watched the farm animals continue to hoof-and-spew. Amy was deciding what she'd say if any of them ventured near, while I was biting the insides of my cheeks to keep my mouth shut. I succeeded, YEAH, but the cost was painful.

I don't social media but maybe someone can put out a suggestion to 'call them what they are' in public, how does that sound for a hash-tag? Can be applied to a number of groups especially nowadays, so how 'bout #callemporcines? I'll use the term my next outing, since most sloped-foreheads didn't understand my earlier comparison anyway. What can you do with these people?

Send them to the nearest Trump rally!