Fingers Poised

They just announced on the news that new shipments of vaccine will be available through Safeway/Albertson's; and we can try to make appointments on their website starting at 5pm.  I wrote myself a big note because I'll forget.  I'm curious to see what that experience will be like, not.

I looked up their site to not waste time later, and found something called $5 Fridays:  if they advertise 5 for $5, you can still get 1 for $1.  When did that NOT become standard practice?

Reminds me of when Tino and I first moved to Portland in 1994 from New Jersey.  Stocking up in Fred Meyer, I was looking at one of those ___ for $___ signs, and I asked a man nearby if that meant I could buy just one for the sale price.  Of course you can, he smiled and we continued to chat.

That's when I learned how to pronounce Oregon.  I mentioned Tino and I had just recently moved to Ory-gone and he said,

"Little Lady (really), the first thing you have to do is learn how to pronounce the name of the state.  It's Or-a-Gun."

For days I walked around mumbling, "Or - a - GUN, GUN, GUN..."  I thought I had my States down correctly until I visited Ne-Vaaah-Duh... Vaaah like Baaah...🐑🐑🐑

Recently, I was compelled to complain to the local TV station, the only broadcast I can get.  The kids hosting the morning news make me crazy with their silliness, Fer Sure; not to mention one gal who has difficulty with pronunciation.  A couple of weeks ago she reported a strange story from my neck of the woods, Monmouth County, New Jersey.

Now you don't have to be from 'Jersey to correctly pronounce the name Monmouth.  Let's see, not only is it the county, but there's the Duke of Monmouth; the HMS Monmouth; and closer to home: Monmouth, Oregon. There are Monmouths all over the place, you probably know one.

So she says, "Blah, blah, blah, that's what happened in Mon-Mouth 👄 County, NJ.

I almost spit out my Special K.  That did it.  I suffered through her story of  French Patisseries; when she was impressed by the white fluffy mounds of meringue.

"Ooooh, look at that yummy Mer-en-gue!" 💃 

Merengue?  You mean like Mom's favorite, Lemon Mer-en-gue Pie?

It was interesting that during the evening's show the young male broadcaster reported the same story, and as he hesitated I paused my task to listen:  "Mon...moth County."  Good for him, or else he read my letter.

A woman has her limits.  I probably need to escape Oregone for a bit, but not before my Janssen shot...pronounced Yan-sen, like my last name but nobody does, at least not in America.  I just heard that Catholics have been advised to choose that vaccine last (fetal cells they claim which J&J denies).  Fine with me,  I drowned mine at birth.  At least I'll have a better shot at my one-shot, thank you Pope Francis!  So keep your fingers crossed for me this afternoon.