"No Small Meat"

I stopped at a Burger King in Fort Stockton, Texas, during my drive from Austin. I rarely treat myself to eating out, so I haven’t memorized the menus of every fast food choice known to man. BK, Mickie D’s, and KFC are all I know, and even then I’m shaky; but I feel relatively comfortable standing at the counter, knowing pretty much what to expect.

I can’t afford Big Meals without cutting back on something else, so I usually stick with budget menus or five-buck boxes if I’m feeling rich. Still, I like to stare at their colorful menus, jump-start the salivary glands and check if the fries are on sale.

I was the only one inside, keeping company with the counter gal and cook/assembler in back. She waited patiently while I scanned their choices, returning to the burgers on the dollar-plus board: I’ll have one of those, please.

“No small meat.”

“What?”



“No small meat,” she repeated, adding, “You can have anything else, including chicken.”

 “I don’t understand what you mean.”

“We don’t have any small meat,” She acted as exasperated as if I was her Granny, adding, “isn’t that what you said, Bob?”

“Yeaaaaahhhhhh...”

“So, I can’t have a Whopper Jr.?”

“NO SMALL MEAT! You can have a Whopper, or anything chicken.”

I stood there with sarcasm swirling inside my head, but 9 months at Community First definitely calmed my demeanor. Rather than go somewhere else to be disappointed, I went ahead and ordered the Whopper, without cheese, which does seem to make the price astronomical for some reason.

How can you run out of beef in Texas? What would Burger King’s management think about this dilemma for one of their employees they choose not to pay to think? Turn business away or try to accommodate the customer? And couldn't she have told me in the first place?

Hmmm, let's see...cut the large burger so it fits on the smaller bun, or just offer the Big Burger as a Big Bonus? How long does it take for BK to restock? How far is the nearest franchise (to snag some to tide you over)?

What if they ran out of BIG MEAT? They’d have jumped through hoops; even roped a steer before thinking to offer double-smalls instead.

So, I paid $6.47 for a Whopper and Sm Fry, which I didn’t realize until afterwards was not the same (price) as the Budget Fries. Really, BK…bait and switching? I couldn’t finish the large burger and was grumbling the entire time, so I doubt I’ll visit another Burger King when there are other choices available.

I’ll even learn Jack-in-the-Box's menu.