For the Sake of 60 Bucks

Horse-diving, c. 1960s

This story will either have a very happy or very sad ending. I'm so close this time I can almost touch it...

I took the housing plunge again this past Thursday, I'll try to keep this short.  Found one place online then called the Property Management (PM) firm and spoke to a woman.

"If you see something on Realtors.com (or anywhere else) it's probably already rented or about to be.  You have to check the listings on our website.  How much are you looking at?"

That's when I had to fess up to the Section 8 voucher.  If you've read my previous posts you'll understand there are 12 different monetary limits I can use, depending on the type of unit (apartment, townhouse, mobile, house) and multiple zip codes.  They call it the Small Area Fair Market Rent.  (I'm sick of looking at my form, but there's a picture of the first one in Two Weeks Left)  The highest allowances are in towns like Eagle Point and Ashland, which are yuppie-growing; and Talent and Phoenix, which burned to the ground in last year's Alameda fire; while the lowest amounts are in Medford, not people's first choice unless you're living on the East Side.  Prices have skyrocketed and landlords know it's a 'seller's market'. 

"Around 800?" She asked as if from experience. 

"You know the government's bureaucracy," (um-hm): "It depends...anywhere from $1000 to $1200."  Our new Social Security increase of 5.9% came through and on Dec. 2nd I downloaded my official SS letter and sent it to the Housing Lady.  On Thursday I picked up their revised housing allotments at the Post Office and raced home to see if my new amounts would afford me a nicer place.

"OH...well...there's a cute, tiny place...you can drive by and tell me if you're interested.  Oh, wait, No Dogs...but I wouldn't let that stop you, we can contact the landlord.  But it's really tiny."

I laughed, "I live in an RV; your idea of tiny and mine may not be the same."

I found the online listing: 498 sq ft for only $1095, looked at the photos and decided to STRIKE WHILE THAT IRON'S HEATING.    Filled out the application; paid the $45 (I did receive a refund from the last place); called back and said I was taking a chance and would check out the listing the next morning.

It was just on the East Side, that was a good sign. I warned myself over and over, "Don't get your hopes up," and I was doing pretty well; until I drove closer and realized I was NOT driving into another slum area...look, there's a Safeway, they don't put those just anywhere (at least in Southern Oregon); a florist; massage parlor, but they're hard to avoid like cannabis shops.

"It's down an alley," she said, but it couldn't be much worse than what I've already seen. The alley wasn't what I expected but looked like parking access for houses facing the other side of the block, facing the real street.  My hopes began to dim when suddenly there it was.

It's a TINY HOUSE, people, framed by a bush-covered chain link fence most of the way around. No For Sale sign anywhere. There's a teeny driveway plus room to park on the alley; a front porch AND a back patio area; quiet; private; trees.  It looks brand new or at least freshly painted, not a mark on the decking, with the front porch light on. It took less than a minute to walk around and make up my mind.

I drove straight home and called the woman, "If I qualify I'm definitely interested."

"So, you want me to go ahead with your application? I spoke to the owner and he said the dog was OK."

"YES, please!"  I thought it started already since I'd paid and spoken to her the night before, but that's not how it works, didn't I learn that lesson the last time?  I said something about paying a Pet Deposit and she said, "Oh, they'll be a Pet Deposit," but she didn't say how much and I didn't ask.  Their Security Deposit was certainly reasonable and I didn't care what I paid for BC.  She said it would take 3-5 business days to process the application/credit check. This was on Friday.

It would take too long to explain to you individual reasons for Why's and How Come's, you'll just have to take the following at face value:

I don't give out email addresses so when I got off the phone I had to quick call my 'Landlord References' and ask them to call the PM woman themselves. I scanned then emailed to this stranger my revised Housing Allowances and wrote,

"The numbers hand-written on the left are the amounts I am able to rent based on my increased, allowable contribution."  Briefly: of those numbers I contribute 30% and Housing contributes 70%.  Except, during the first year I'm allowed to contribute an extra 10% while they still make up the 70%, sorry that's confusing. (That explanation is in The Final Third.)  That extra 10% adds $100 to everything shown on my Housing Allotment Form regardless of the style home or zip code. At least that was my understanding of the regulation.

With that computation I'm only $10 short of $1095.  During orientation they said if the rent is close (less than $20 or so), they MAY allow it; and most importantly, no one, but NO ONE can contribute anything extra or arrange any side payments or I'll get kicked out of the program.  Only ten dollars; even if the Housing Lady doesn't like me (because I challenged her on several issues and proved my points) they can't begrudge me that.

"Well, you'll have to ask the Housing Office and make sure they agree with you," the PM Lady told me.  I promised to follow up on everything and let her know.  It wasn't even noon. I left a convoluted voicemail with the Housing Lady, which I clarified in an email.

She simply wrote, "Where is the unit?"  Back to that zip code-thing.

"Utilities?"

Everything but electric.

"Based on your 40% contribution, the rent is $60 too high so therefore you're not eligible."

My heart hit the floor as I stared at those words, I'll bet she enjoyed writing that.  I started to write the PM Lady admitting defeat, but stopped myself in order to throw an alternative at the Housing Lady.

"I have to pay extra for the dog. What if they take the 'Pet Fee' separately?"  I was grasping at straws, and since I only have until Jan 7th and don't want to go through this again, I feel this is my last shot.

"The only thing is for the landlord to reduce the rent by $60."

I called the PM Lady, apologized for making her crazy, and when she asked, "What's up," I held back the tears to explain everything, including the separate Pet Fee proposition.

"I'm afraid we can't do something like that; I'll have to ask the landlord.  I'll call you back."

What do you think the chances are, after first accommodating a dog, that he'll reduce the rent by $60?  He doesn't know me and there are plenty of other people looking and willing to pay the $1095; plus he won't have to wait for a government inspection, that would be the final obstacle.  My last hope is he's got a kindly nature and wants to help the 'homeless', I used Pastor Chad as a Personal Reference for the first time.

The last time I had one of those mouth-gaping Silent Cries was after Tino died.  Considering what I've been through with this Section 8 process the past 3 months, I couldn't believe God was being so cruel yet again, even now I'm still in shock, clenching my jaw while my chest tightens.  I try telling myself, "Just because you haven't gotten a Yes doesn't mean you've gotten a No," but I'm not buying that so much anymore.

By 2:30 I had to lay down for a nap, and when I woke up I tried calling the PM Lady to hear a decision one way or another, but the recording said they only work until 1 on Fridays, woulda been nice to know.

I wrote the Housing Lady, expressing my profound disappointment in her decision, then asking why, if 30% of my income is $300 why isn't 40% $400?  For the sake of 60 bucks they'd turn me down, when I don't have a car payment nor any bills to speak of?  I wrote I couldn't understand their policies; I wasn't asking for anything outrageous, for if this was in a different zip code it would qualify.  I wrote I felt it was my last chance and that I'll have to keep living in my drafty old RV, which I've been told is not considered suitable housing.  My voucher can't be used to rent RV spaces so I'll pay over 40% of my income in any event during 2022; but I'd let her know what the landlord decides.

What amounts to a simple decision to the Housing Lady and the Landlord makes a significant impact on my life, don't they realize?  I feel like I'm in the middle of a tug-of-war over who'll give in on the rent.  But they'll simply go on to the next case, can't really blame them. Maybe somebody else needs this tiny house more than me, like a single mother on the streets.  In that case I'd gladly step aside, knowing it was the right thing to do.  But it's hard to keep that thought and not lament my loss.

So that's where things stand.  All offices are closed over the weekend, and while I've been debating counter-offering with this unethical deal and that, I realize I've done all I can and the rest is up to the Almighty, if there is one. I have the entire weekend to try NOT to dwell on the elephant in the middle of the room so I'll probably take lots of naps after consuming massive amounts of comfort food, Corned Beef Hash and fried eggs this morning.  Good thing I finished the Goldschlager last week, and used the rest of the Vodka to ferment with blackberries ala Rumtopf.  I picked up a crock in Goodwill for that purpose, and it's currently doing it's thing in the fridge.

There's nothing anyone can do.  One friend offered to pay the extra $720 to the landlord but I had to explain that it's not allowed, and the possible consequences.  I could pay that extra myself but as I just wrote, it's out of my hands at this point.

I'm listening to Christmas music and plan on finishing the ornaments to give to my hairdresser, the mechanics, folks at the Post Office and at Hope Village, I'm running out of time. Pen-Pal Rick recently commented (sic), "Have you noticed that the poorest people are the most generous?"  Not that it buys a cup of coffee, but it should count for something.

So I'll call on Monday and try to pull myself together in the meantime and remember the Spirit of Christmas. I hope I'll be able to report a positive outcome, since "I (still) believe," in Santa and miracles.  They do happen.

P.S.  Dec 14th:  The answer's No.

Here's the next edition:  Going Down Swinging.  Read The Hungry Games from the start.