I thought to compose a Christmas letter to loved ones while listening to Ho-Ho songs on the radio. There’s just one problem: I’m not a squishy-kind of person. Favorite holiday classics include Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer, and for movies, The Ref. I don’t particularly like Chick Flicks, being hugged by someone I’m not sleeping with, or Red Velvet cake, which my last partner claims was invented by his Mother. I believed him for years, but I’m smarter now.
The first RV cake I sampled was shipped to Puerto Rico from Oregon. It must have sat on a dock somewhere ‘cause what was delivered was Red Velvet Mush, but I digress.
I smile when announcers lament holiday shopping, traffic and commercialism. Gee, if you’re not enjoying it, why bother? Become an Atheist or Agnostic, like Granddad. Perhaps it’s in the genes, but here’s why I’m not stressed:
I’m not shopping; I'm giving away excess collectibles. If you really want to downsize, give a beautiful vase you own but rarely use to the mail carrier or dog sitter. I haven't planned a Christmas party in years, but I'll happily pig at other's, a collectible in tow to secure a place at the table. There’s no miniature tree up; a single strand of lights hung between the front door and window allows me to unlock the door. I had to use a shower curtain hook but at least it’s silver. I hate tacky.
I’m smiling because, perhaps like some of you, my sentiment is Been-There-Done-That. Actually I'm grinning ear-to-ear because, thank-God, I can still remember those days. Christmastime is terrific; but I enjoy stretching it out between Hanukah, Tres Reyes, and the seven days of Kwanza. Even the British tacked Boxing Day on to the 25th. How come we got short-changed?
By the middle of the month the only card in the house was addressed to ButterCup Jansen. That’s why Czar’s picture is here and not hers. I enjoyed 10 Christmases with this gentle giant, who was always so patient with the antlers. The sweetest Reindog.
Happy Holidays, everyone!
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