Ink Spots

Brilliant!  Some kid, for his science project, studied how much ink is used printing different FONTS, and it turns out that if we just switch from Times New Roman to Garamond, we’ll save loads of ink, currently priced at $75 an ounce; twice that of Chanel No. 5.  Unfortunately, the millions in savings to local, state and federal agencies would undoubtedly be cancelled out by cost analyses, not to mention all that Times N.R. spent printing out the arguments.

What a world.  I don’t buy color cartridges because it’s just too expensive.  Any color needs printing I take to Office Max, along with my own paper if it’s specialty.  I don’t intend to write an entire blog about ink cartridges, but as the announcer commented,

“How can we elect this kid President?”  We should at least pause in his honor.

My prose this morning does have a fiscal slant; it’s the last day of the month, and I still have over eight dollars in the bank and three on my food stamp card.  And for the second month in a row, I haven’t received a Shame on You from the bank.  I wasn’t as excited last month because it was February and there was less time to stretch.  But not only does March have 30 days, it has 31!!

I’m so proud of myself, and must rein in my impulse to go spend it all in one place:  Walmart.  That’s the closest and cheapest place around for everything I need.  Not everything I WANT perhaps, but if it’s not sold there, it eventually will no longer exist.

I left just enough in my account for a bag of BC’s dog food, but since she still has plenty, the surplus dangles enticingly.  Wanna know what I can get with my eight-fifty?

• A couple of travel-size toiletry items at a buck apiece
• A bottle of generic asperin, 250 mg, for 99 cents
• A two-pack of decent paper towels, hopefully in Select-a-Size.  I’ve been meaning to write to Bounty requesting they slice their half-rolls in half, like toilet paper.  So many of you out there are disdainful of P.T.’s but reluctantly admit they’re handy (Sis).  What if instead of a half you could yank off a quarter?  Can’t cost much to retool, and if they didn’t want to offer promotion QT-PT holders (get it?), you could still use any number of items around the house.  There are so many marketing possibilities there.

Makes sense, doesn’t it?  I’m often ripping a half-sheet in half  again ‘cause I don’t need it all and can’t afford, literally, to waste a single quilted piece.  I feel the same about my T.P., but won’t go there.  Guess I’ll sit down today and send that suggestion.  To continue:

• Treat:  a whole, HOT, roast chicken.  We’re not allowed to buy hot food (in most places) using food stamps, so as you’ve possibly noticed, in the cold section of supermarkets there are packaged (day-old?) chicken with stickers reminding us to use our SNAP benefits.  But it's just not the same as grease-dripping crusty skin, guaranteed to keep my arteries flappin'.  I pass the cold and purchase Breasts in a Bag; frozen, pumped up with water, for about the same price.  That's my food staple; I use 'em in Ceasar salad, chicken salad, club sandwiches and pasta Alfredo. Therefore, if I’m really in the money, I’ll head for the heated cart.
• New mascara
• A box of garbage bags
• Bag of rawhides for BC
• A couple copies of the Sunday paper with my latest article

Well, you get the idea.  It’s the same feeling as olden days when I'd plan my vacations, pouring over travel brochures, figuring which optional side trips I could afford.  White water rafting or hot air ballooning?  Yep, both.

Most of my list will need to be purchased when I get paid on the first, so if I’m sensible and buy them today, I’m ahead of the game with April’s budget.  Good, ‘cause I’m scheduling truck repairs in anticipation of my next Travel with Buttercup.

Simple pleasures.