Funny Money

 I’m usually pleased when I get an opportunity to experience something new.  Life’s all about exploring, or at least it should be.

But one thing I could have missed was going into that bank to make a large deposit of $40.  Two twenties; that’s a lot of money to some of us.  While perusing the lollipop selection, I suddenly heard,

“This bill is counterfeit.”

I couldn’t have been more surprised if she said Elliot Ness was waiting in the next room.  All eyes were on me, as supervisors appeared to confirm the news.  I felt so guilty, especially when I held out my hand to take it back.

“You can’t have this back.”

Of course not.  I should have gone to 7-11 in the first place.  But that’s my point…there’s no telling how many of us are passing fake paper unknowingly.  The teller began filling out a form for Homeland Security.

“Will they be knocking on my door one day?”

She couldn’t say, but did explain that this was, unfortunately, becoming a problem more and more.  I thought counterfeits were 50’s or 100’s, but she said fake twenties are common and the week before she even received a bum ten dollar bill.  Fives and singles are just a matter of time.

I can laugh about this now, but at the time I was close to tears.  The bill was received at a YARD SALE I’d put on this past summer when downsizing my Mom.  Do you know how many items you need to sell in a yard sale to get 20 bucks?  Who wants to rip off a little 86-yr old lady anyway?  Shame on them; but it might just as easily have been the next door neighbor.

What upset me more than anything is that, once again because of some idiot, we’ll all need to change our behavior and walk around with those silly black pens.  Can you imagine how much more time it will take to mark our change at checkouts?  You can’t even throw the responsibility on the store, since money is changing hands continuously.  Maybe I’ll start asking for my change in coin.

This tale may go in one orifice and out the other…until you hear those fateful words yourself.  This is not some prophecy; I’ve no crystal ball, despite the occasion.  Unless you use cards exclusively, it’s Russian Roulette.  Think about it.

OK, here’s a prediction:  invest in one of those Pen companies.  In the meantime, if you see me at the register marking my bills and holding them up to the light, be sure to say Hello.